Hate To Love Me

6 hour flights are never fun. Flying over Los Angeles’ residential grids I see a building painted with a giant “Welcome to LA” sign. I’m finally here. A sigh of release and a fading of the urge to kill that was developing from sitting in one place for way too long makes me relax. Until… yep… once again the airline has lost my bag. It seems that whenever I actually need my bag they conveniently lose it. Oh well they promised they’d get it to me a.s.a.p. which makes me less infuriated.

I have mixed feelings about LA so far. On one end of the coin there’s the amazing sense of pride and fame that just shines off this town. The 5 story high palm trees, the clay roof tiles, Melrose, Sunset, and of course Hollywood Blvd. It’s just exciting.

And yet there’s the other side which consists of angry drivers and horrible pollution. I don’t know why but ever since I’ve gotten here I’ve had this nagging headache. All I want to do is go find a watering hole and have a drink or 3 and meet some women but this god forsaken country won’t let me. I can go to bed early and jerk off at home, I’d much rather be at The Standard or Skybar having fun.

Either way I’m here for another couple of days, hopefully my luggage gets delivered early enough that I can get ready and then swing over to the summit without missing anyone. Otherwise I’m going to have to take a trip back here mid-day to shower and change into my suit. I’m just glad they switched my time slot to 5PM Sunday instead of 9AM.

This hotel is a shit stain. I was all excited that I have a suite for the weekend… until I realized that it was a 2 star hotel. No free wifi internet and no iron/ironing board. Lets just leave it at that.

In other news I met up with some of the organizers and other speakers at the meet and greet tonight. It’s obvious they’ve put a lot of work into this summit and have high hopes for it. I hope for the best that it does and that it pulls together really well.

I met a couple guys from Kansas City tonight. I found out that they were leaving before my speech on Sunday so I took them back to my suite (btw the hotel sucks) and delivered my presentation to them. They took to it really well and it gave me good practice on delivering the system again. I’m really excited to be in front of such a big group of guys. I know I’m going to kill it on Sunday and really I wish I was speaking tomorrow just so that I could concentrate on selling for the rest of the weekend.

Just got a call from the airline, my bag’s on its way yippee! Should be here in the next two hours… great it’s only 1AM as it is…

Tonight is a night for reflection and preparation because tomorrow I have to be on like I’ve never been before.

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At around 4:59PM Pacific Standard Time I will be arriving in Los Angeles. By the time everything’s said and done I should be at my hotel by 6:00PM which will give me tons of time to rest before the meet and greet. Should be an interesting weekend for sure. I don’t know how much I’ll be checking the internet but I’ll try to post about things as they happen. Maybe I’ll do some LA World PUA Summit live blogging. Those who know me who will be there come swing on by and say bonjour (that’s hello in French).

Also, regarding the last two posts… I don’t know what I want. I’ll have lots of time to think on my 10 hour flight.

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Hey guys I a little announcement about my schedule over the next couple of weeks.

Next weekend I’m representing Vin DiCarlo at the 2007 World Pickup Summit. I’m really excited to speak in front of such a large audience (200 people in attendance) and meet a lot of new friends. If you’re heading to the summit be sure to stop by and tell me how much you love my blog.

The weekend after the summit I’ll be in Toronto running my first ever Drills Bootcamp with Vin DiCarlo himself. To celebrate this event I’ve been given a coupon code of ORLEANS-TORONTO for you guys to use to sign up for this bootcamp only, use it and you’ll get $300 off. I don’t know how often this is going to happen and I guarantee it’s going to be one of the best opportunities you will ever have to learn about pickup. If you’ve been contemplating taking our Drills Bootcamp but needed that little reason, this is that reason. Also keep in mind that this is our first program that will be 19+. If you’re underage stateside but want to take a Drills Bootcamp make sure you hop on this one. I promise it’ll be good.

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So my trip to hang out with Vin DiCarlo and Heartwork was a complete success. We were all super productive and not only that but we learned a lot about each other and the things we need to do to be successful in this industry. Bouncing ideas off these two was awesome; definitely something I wouldn’t mind being around more often.

My first flight from Ottawa to Detroit turned out to be verryyyy interesting. I was sitting in the terminal and had caught a couple cute girls on the flight checking me out. I don’t normally approach in airports for whatever reason (my laziness) so I just took the sweet sweet validation and put a smile on my face. I took my seat on the plane and watched for who was going to get the pleasure of being stuck with me for 2 hours on this mini bus of a plane.

I see one of the cuter girls (bout a 7-8ish) walking up and as she sees that she’s sitting next to me her face lights up with a smile for about a split second. I proceed to take my iPod earbuds out of my ears, and put away my little jukebox. I take a quick second to figure out the best way to approach her when she pulls out a Cosmo magazine. Note to everyone, Cosmo magazine was put on earth to make pickup easier for guys.

Orleans: *pointing at the magazine* “What is it with girls and Cosmo.”

We proceed to fluff on about how Cosmo is professional journalism and I grab it out of her hands to flip through it. I hold it in my hands for a few more seconds and then I put it in the back of the seat in front of her. Distraction taken away.

I run some conversational game, basically just being a cool guy and not fucking up her attraction for me (while also doing a physical escalation combination of incidental class 1 and 2) and then we move back onto the topic of Cosmo and how sleezy it is. We start reading each other the naughty stories from the back of the magazine. As I’m holding the magazine I’m letting my right forearm (she was on my right hand side) gently brush/rest on her thigh. Reading the erotic stories was a lot of fun, got to talk in my bedroom voice and make fun of the shitty writing with her which built a lot of comfort between us.

We put the Cosmo away again and then I run into some comfort building stuff such as the back story behind my white gold ring on my ring finger (that girls ALWAYS ask about), some palm reading stuff, identity things. Through all this I find out the following information:

• She’s 20
• She’s only ever had one boyfriend ever
• They were together for 6 months and recently broke up
• She’s on a college scholarship for swimming and spends a metric shit-ton of time in the gym
• She’s extremely shy unless other people open her up

This tells me she’s probably has ugly duckling syndrome (less attractive when younger but blossomed into a hottie) which would explain the lack of boyfriends and the shyness. She’s probably also incredibly self-conscious about her body which I must say is absolutely bangin’.

As the flight begins to land we hit some of the worst turbulence I’ve ever experienced and this causes her to panic like crazy. She’s squeezing my hand and is very nervous. I use this opportunity to comfort her and establish a protector role. After the flight we walk out with my hands on her hips and then hand in hand into the terminal. I tell her she should come see me in Ottawa if we can’t get together in Boston on Saturday, she seems to be really up for it. We exchange numbers and part with a hug and kiss on the cheek. She’s a really cool girl, and although we didn’t get the chance to get together I hope that something comes from it.

The rest of the weekend composed of working our asses off on video stuff, getting ready for LA (announcement in the next post) and talking about marketing strategy. I won’t get into details but let me just say that I absolutely enjoyed every minute of hanging out with Heartwork and Vin and I think we all got a ton from this weekend. The dynamic was also really killer between the three of us, I know that our business together will be amazing!

But like always it will be nice to be home. Right now I’m sitting in the Philly airport and I’m meeting up with my crazy angry sex girl tonight when I get home. She’s never had a facial before and really wants one so I’m going to give her one. I haven’t gotten off since Thursday and have been popping these crazy money shot pills Vin got from one of our video sponsors, so if you hear anything about a girl being drowned via splooge, it was me.

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So I’m leaving on a jetplane tomorrow for Massachusetts/Boston for the weekend. I’ll be meeting up with Vin DiCarlo, Heartwork and our business manager Bob. We’re gonna try to film some in field on Saturday for you guys and then at some point this weekend we’re probably going to do a video interview of Vin and yours truly regarding super fast lays. We’ve both had some experience with it and personally I find it a fun and engaging subject to talk about so it should be a fun interview.

In other news I cut one of my girls on Tuesday in the hardest way. I’m talking full out no answering phone calls, no MSN, nothing. I found out while I was in Edmonton she was being a little more devious then I usually like my girls to be so she got a gentlemen’s salute and and earful. I’ve been contemplating it for a long time but this was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I also laid a new girl on Wednesday night and have been spending some time with her. I’d write you guys a lay report but to be honest it was just a 2 month long online pickup which finally turned into a 30 minute date that turned into me slamming her head into my car door in the back seat. Fun girl too, she doesn’t drink but I brought her out with my buddy to the bar tonight and she joined us for a beer and a shot. Needless to say by the end of the night she was pretty fucking drunk heh. The funny thing about this is when I did the debrief to find out when she knew she was going to fuck me she said about a week ago… but she’s been an absolute bitch for the last week. Keep up the persistence boys, you never know which ones are going to result in the close.

Anyways, I’ll be sure to post about my adventure to the wild wild northeast when I get back. My flight’s in 10 hours and I still have to pack, fuck.

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Prec•e•dent

This word can mean the difference between you being the leader of the group or a beta. It can make the difference between lovers and friends. It can be the deciding factor on whether a lay will happen inside 2 hours or if it will happen at all.

Precedent, for our purpose, is all about establishing a basic set of expectations and underlying dynamics that will shape the frames of future interaction.

By setting an early precedent in our favor we can weigh the scales on our side to make our objectives easier to obtain.

Think about a Day2. If you have been physically escalating during the initial meeting and have kissed the girl then you will find that during the Day2 your touching will seem more natural and there won’t be a barrier in between you and your girl. The precedent has been set that you have a romantic undertone. You’re able to be physical with each other because that’s how you interact with each other.

The same thing goes when you’re making an effort to work a social circle. If you establish yourself as a leader inside of the group the precedent is set and people will look to you for guidance in regards to the social circle’s activities. This obviously works to proof you (but I didn’t need to tell you that right?) and therefore it should be your goal to set that underlying behavioral expectation.

To give you an idea of what I’m talking about, a good precedent to set would be as a physical person. You enjoy touch and you enjoy touching other people, it’s playful and natural and will allow you more leeway in regards to physical escalation. It serves you well and puts you on a good ramp towards your goals.

A BAD precedent to set would be being the guy who hits on all the girls in the social circle. It’s ok to be the fun guy who sex “just happens” with, but if you’re the guy who’s being sleazy and uncalibrated and running “game” (especially if it’s weak game) on all the girls without any regards to social context and unspoken rules then that’s a very bad thing. Word spreads around; don’t get a reputation of being this way.

Determine What Precedent’s Serves You Best

So how do you figure out what precedent is going to serve you best? Good question.

I wish I could spoon feed you the answer but when it comes down to it a lot of it is going to be based on your style and who you are. If you’re 5’3 and 100 pounds you’re not going to be able to be the guy who picks girls up and spins them around although it’s a very good and fun position to take.

Part of figuring out what works for you is going to be figuring out what your goals are specifically. Once you do this you need to figure out the best steps and advantages you can give yourself in order to achieve these goals, specifically.

To give you an idea of what kind of positive precedents you can establish I’ll give you a snippet from my own life.

I’m known as the guy who knows where to go for the best service and experiences, girlfriends come to me for information on anything including restaurants, clubs, shopping and even hair salons. I’m known as the guy who rolls around in a limo when I’m out hitting bars. I’m known as the guy who gets VIP and excellent treatment at the hottest places. I’m known as seeing and knowing a lot of the bigger names in the city’s nightlife. I’m known as the guy who amps up the party, if a girl is in a bad mood 5 minutes of my attention will change her night from shit to amazing. I’m known as a guy who follows my ambition and passions and usually succeeds.

Most of these things are precedents that any guy can set. That’s just a GLIMPSE from my life. These are all positive attributes and have been established through networking, and a lot of work on my part to get to this place. Since all of these things are a part of my life I’ve worked hard at them to build them to their highest level of value I could.

If you’re a bodybuilder, be the fitness guru for your friends.

If you’re a rock star, be the guy who teaches instruments to kids and who does the sing-a-longs at parties. Show people new bands and artists and invite people to shows.

If you’re highly connected in a city be the guy who makes shit happen for people. Help people network and introduce people to each other and you’ll be known as that guy. By the way this is something everyone can do. Know a chef who needs a job and know an owner of a restaurant? Make it happen so that the three of you are in one place at a time and introduce each other.

It’s all about taking your positive attributes and extending them to the absolute extreme end of positive value. Become known for good things, be the expert, the go to guy

This is possibly the most important part of this entire section. Over time you need to become the guy who is known for multiple things. Develop more than one aspect, it’s ok to be the fitness guru but you better also be connected and have more going for you than that. Don’t get locked inside a stereotype or single precedent, give people more than one reason to want you in their lives.

Changing Precedent

So you’ve fucked it up and now if you don’t want to get stuck even deeper into the frame you’ve built for yourself you must work towards establishing a new precedent.

The first way to change it is grinding it and breaking old patterns. This is more catered towards breaking a precedent you’ve set in a social circle. It’s going to be awkward and resisted by others at first. It will be an uphill battle (why do you think I push to set it properly from the beginning) as people will not make it easy for you. People are creatures of habit and having roles changed is something that the majority of the population has difficulty coping with, especially if you’re trying to take over leadership of a group. They will test you for congruence and try to force you back into the previous precedent set.

The second way to change precedent and the best way to turn the tables on one-itis and LJBF is to disappear completely (or with sporadic contact) for a reasonable amount of time and then reappear under a new context that you consciously set. Ever notice how when you cut a girl out of your life but she knows that you’re seeing other women that she will make an effort to get with you? That’s because you’ve indirectly set a different precedent than the one she remembers you by. She will test you but she will be doing this out of curiosity. Take advantage.

It’s always going to be easy to fall back into your old habits. Don’t let it happen. People are going to make it extremely difficult for you to stay in your new sought role. It’s like an addiction, it will only take one time and then slowly the old habits will come back. Hold your ground and pursue a better life through new precedent.

Power and Precedent

Power in relationships is also set by precedent. Who wears the pants is usually determined within the beginning of the relationship. Unless drastic changes are made the power usually stays in approximately the same position throughout the relationship.

If you’ve ever seen or heard of a situation where the woman was in charge through the relationship, this is an example of a situation where the woman was the one actively setting the precedent. By living inside these boundaries the man has given up his power. When the man tries to retake the power the situation can either reignite attraction or collapse the relationship depending on the people and the relationship. More often it’s the latter.

Also notice that you may lose previous friends due to your reformed position on precedent and you actively using it to establish power. Your friends like you, but they also like being in a position of power and when the balance of power is being actively shifted through a change of behavior they may not like it and there is a possibility of being shunned. Even though this is a possibility it is in your best interested to try to take the leadership role. Do it progressively and damage can be controlled, but understand the risk and realize it’s good for you.

This is why it’s important to establish dominance early on in order to receive compliance. It’s also crucial to set the boundaries and lines of what is and isn’t acceptable and be unwavering on the issue. By being the person to set the boundaries and being inside of them you establish yourself as the dominant subject of the interaction. You’re setting the rules and determining the punishments and rewards for breaking or following them.

Cliffs Notes

By understanding this principle you have a leg up on getting compliance. Set the proper precedent from the start. Analyze your goals for the interaction, group of people or your life and then take the proper steps to make certain that the proper underlying role is set to work for you. By doing so you’re able to build situations over a compliant frame.

Do what works for you, don’t try to be something your not. Expand on the things you are in such a way that they’re intensely potent examples of positive attributes, and once you have developed a main precedent work on building several more. Become a man of multiple avenues of value and make sure they’re all equally extraordinarily positive and magnetic.

If you don’t do this you may realize down the line that you’ve been lumped into a position that isn’t working for you. You’re going to be making things a lot harder for you. There are ways to change this but save yourself the trouble and get into the habit of getting the situation to work for you. Don’t rely on the methods described to change the precedent as it can and often will have disastrous effects on your relationships.

Power is given and it is taken. It’s not accidental. Power goes to those who put in the work and set the boundaries of the interactions with others.

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So it’s been about a week since I got back from Florida and I decided I’d finally post my thoughts on the U21 Convention.

The Under 21 Convention was a complete success. For those who know me know that I flipped back and forth a lot about going and that it would have been so easy for me to just say no and blow the entire thing off.

That being said I’m so happy I didn’t. The life experience, confidence gained and friendships established were worth going on its own.

The convention itself went off without a hitch other than a dead laptop battery and some lazy attendant’s who slept in and missed out on my presentation (Mehow I’m looking at you).

I was really nervous about my presentation during the days leading up to the convention. I worked on it frantically and am I ever glad that I did. I have had nothing but rave reviews about it which makes me so happy. At one point I was having so much fun delivering the presentation that I almost forgot to plug the company (don’t fire me yet I made sure to get that part handled). I guess I got wrapped up in the moment of answering all the questions I got, and trust me I got a lot.

It’s funny, I have no fear of approaching strangers and groups of people and pushing the social norm but tell me I have to speak in front of a large group of guys and I get all nervous. Go figure right?

The other speakers were really good. Not everyone represented companies which meant that they were up there just to help out the guys and give value, fantastic attitude in my opinion. I was kind of upset that my friend and roommate Vincent Chase wasn’t able to speak but we drunkenly recorded his speech at about 4AM after hanging out with a couple from Ireland. No sweat!

That being said, Vincent Chase was an awesome roommate although he was really fucking messy. We slept in a couple times and couldn’t have housekeeping come through for a few days and the room looked like a post apocalyptic nuclear warfare battlefield. Zine, Thad and Respeck also spent a lot of time in my room hanging out (it was party central what can I say) and these guys were also top notch dudes! Zine and Thad have very different views about game which kind of removed them from the general population but they didn’t let that stop them and I’m glad they were there!

The night life in Orlando is dramatically different then anything I’ve ever experienced. It’s almost as if everything I know about the bar/club industry is completely backwards down there. It’s like some guy moved to Orlando and decided to put a bunch of shitty bars in a bunch of strip malls near UCF and play some shitty music… and it’s a huge fucking success. And then you’d go to clubs like Roxy and Club Paris and it’d have nowhere near the volume of hot (and I mean smokin’ hot) women. It just doesn’t make sense to me.

The first night was the approach-a-thon or as it became lovingly deemed… the approach-a-gongshow. Hahaha what a mess that was. I ended up taking out two guys who turned out to be awesome, gave them a quick rundown of what we do at Vin DiCarlo and then sent them into multiple approaches. They both had incredible sets with KnockOut ending up holding the hottest girl in the club for about 45 minutes while 4-5 PUA’s would rotate winging the obstacle. Oh did I mention she didn’t speak any English? Yeah, that’s how we do it at Vin DiCarlo!

At the end of the night I pushed them into one last set outside of the club. They ended up pulling back to the girl’s place but couldn’t full monty due to logistics (read: girl throwing up all over the place). Never the less my two students were the only one’s who pulled girls on the first night!

Throughout the convention we had varying experiences. Friday we went to CityWalk and me and Vincent Chase ran a couple killer sets that lit up real quick due to a strong open. One was a pair of Irish girls and no word of a lie my girl was absolutely fucking beautiful and had the hottest Irish accent. 9.5 on the hot scale. Vince didn’t hold the obstacle properly and we ended up losing the set but not before I tattooed her arm with my phone number. Oh well they were really fun for the half hour that we held them.

Saturday night we went to Roxy with half the convention. I showed up in a full suit and Vince was lookin’ like a rockstar. We honestly looked like a couple celebs, the fact that we’d have 5-6 guys talking to us at a time and rotating around probably didn’t help that. I must say though, the noobs sarged out the entire venue within the first hour. Every set was bitter and upset with being approached so much. It was hilarious to see all the PUA’s talking to the fat and ugly girls at the end of the night since they’d burned out all the hot ones. At the end of the night we ended up waiting outside Roxy until about 5AM waiting for cabs with 16 PUA’s. Me and Vince ran a little coaching session in the parking lot to keep everyone occupied but the whole thing with the cabs was fucking retarded.

Sunday night we hit probably the best venue for pickup I’ve ever been to in my life, with 45 minutes left in the night. Walked around, checked out the venue and made a note to go back when we had more time. It turned out that a fight broke out which cut the night even shorter as the bouncers kicked everyone out after that had happened.

The rest of the week was a combination of more of the same. Going out with people and enjoying my time in Orlando.

All in all this trip was absolutely mind blowing. Absolutely worth my time and the money I ended up spending. Thanks to everyone that was involved and everyone who showed up! I didn’t get a ton of time to get to know everyone but definitely made some friends.

Remember that being under the legal drinking age doesn’t mean you can’t have fun and still learn pickup. Keep at it guys, you’ll get there soon!

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