Hate To Love Me

So today on my local lair board a guy asked a question about conversationalism. I gave a pretty good answer… it’s by no means complete… but it’s a damn good blueprint on how to have never ending conversations with someone.

Then, if a girl is very talkative and/or the conversation evolves into a topic we’re both interested in, I can stay in the set for up to around 20 minutes sometimes, but more often than not I have a hard time keeping it going and bail after a minute or two simply because I run out of stuff to say. It’s very hit and miss. So I have a question…

Question #1: How do you consistently keep conversations going smoothly without resorting to canned routines? Any tips?

Conversationalism 101:

You have two basic parts to conversationalism. Statements and questions. With these two tools you can train yourself how to relate, probe and elicit emotion out of people.

Basic threading is taking a statement and breaking it into several different topics and then relating, probing or eliciting emotion out of one of the topics of your choosing.

Girl: “I like apples in the morning when I go to work.”

The three topics in this sentence are apples, morning and work. You can now pick one or two of the topics and relate, probe or elicit emotion.

Relate: “Yeah I know apples are amazing… they give you lots of energy and there’s nothing better than crunching into a nice fresh apple.”

Probe: “Oh what is it that you do for work?”

Elicit Emotion: “What is it about apples that you love?”

Relating is just offering your own emotional reaction to the situation.
Probing is asking questions of varying depths to get on a new thread or to gather information. Eliciting emotion is done to get deeper into a thread and get emotional responses… think of them as like deep illogical probing.

With these tools you should be able to have a back and forth conversation like the person is your best friend. There’s more to conversationalism and it’ll take practice but try working with this and see how it’ll take you.

Girl: “I like apples in the morning when I go to work?”
Me: “What is it about apples that you love?”
Girl: “I don’t know, when I was a kid I used to love going to pick apples and eat them fresh so I guess I just got it from that.”
Me: “I know… apples are amazing… there’s nothing better than biting into a nice fresh apple and feeling the crunch between my teeth.”
Girl: “Yeah and they’re so juicy!”
Me: “Only the good ones, so what were you saying you did for work?”
Girl: “Oh… I’m in retail.”
Me: “The good kind of retail… or like the kind where you fold a stack of shirts and then a 13 year old comes and tears up the pile?”
Girl: “Haha no no I work in high end retail… so 30 year olds come in and tear up my shirt piles.”
Me: “God I know how that is… building something up like that and then having it destroyed in a second… as you can see I’m a bitter ex-retail-worker myself.”

And so on to infiniti.

Also keep in mind that through physical escalation girls will be more compliant to converse. So always be escalating.

On the occasions when I do stay in set for a while, there is interesting and friendly conversation happening, but I feel like often there isn’t a lot of sexual attraction happening from the girl’s side. I’ve been starting to use kino recently, so for example I might touch her on the shoulder a couple times while we’re talking, but it’s not like that makes her want to jump me and start making out or anything. So I also have another question…

Question #2: How do you turn up the sexual tension when interacting with a girl, instead of just having a friendly conversation with her that goes nowhere?

Escalate through a reward system. Slow your voice and give her the sexy eyes. Building sexual tension doesn’t have to be done verbally… it’s just… a subcommunicated vibe. Difficult to explain if I’m not right in front of you.

Use double entendre’s and sensual language to describe things and do so in a way that you could be talking about something sexual but really it’s just about an every day thing.

“I had just placed my ball on the tee and then I lined up… I SLOWLY surveyed the CURVY land of the golf course and the inhaled VERY SLOWLY feeling all the air SLIDE down into my lungs FILLING THEM UP DEEPLY and WARMLY. I STRADDLED UP to the tee and GRIPPED my club not too TIGHT but just FIRMLY enough that it wouldn’t SLIDE out between my fingers as I was performing my STROKE. I took a couple of DEEP PENETRATING breathes and then PULL back LOOSELY getting ready to SLAM the ball as HARD as I could. I whipped my arms through as my entire body TIGHTENED up and I could just feel the club and ball CONNECT perfectly.”

Keep in mind it’s all about tonality and that’s a very very WEAK example.

It’s not so much NLP as it is just using Sensual Languaging to turn something as simple as teeing up on a golf course into something that’s hot and amps up the sexual tension.

You see… by talking about sex blatantly it’s releasing the tension. It’s the reason why you have those super flirty girls who love to talk about sex and all that shit… it’s a release… there’s no more sexual tension when you bring it to the surface… BUT… When you talk about something normal in a sexually charged way… it AMPS up the sexual tension because you’re talking about something completely different and boring but there’s still a strong subcommunication of sex and sexuality being projected through your voice.

Talking sensually vs. every day conversation is the equivalent of the sexy pimp walk vs. the everyday white man stroll. Girls who see the walk just know he fucks good… same with a guy who can talk about anything in a sexy way… girls just know he fucks good.

I can do it with anything… I can make a cup of coffee sounds like a rimjob. It’s ALL about the tonality. Start consciously training it.

can you explain elicit emotions better?

In a nutshell eliciting emotions means getting her talking about her deeper feelings on a subject.

It’s the difference between “I like candy” and “Candy makes me feel like a kid again”. You want her to say she FEELS things because that’s when you can truly begin to understand a person… when you know how they feel about things.

A byproduct of this is that when she talks about how she FEELS about something she will start to feel it and experience it. That is why when we’re talking about happy go lucky things we want to elicit the emotions because then she’ll start to feel happy go lucky about it. The happier you make a person the more compliant they’ll be and they’ll begin to associate you with those good emotions.

Also… talking about emotions is different then what every other jackass is trying to accomplish so you’ll stand out when you want to find out how she REALLY feels about things.